Need Help : How to convince family for trading?

Hello all,

I need guidance from the trading members on this community. It’s a little awkward issue, but I’m looking for suggestions.

I am a 28-year-old male and have been trading full-time for the last 5 years, primarily in options. I’ve been largely profitable, except for last year when I experienced a significant setback and I recovered it. Monetary-wise, I am quite comfortable.

My parents have been searching for a potential bride for my marriage. Still, they are encountering obstacles with the girl’s family expressing concerns about my full-time trading profession, considering it a risk.

How do you think my family should approach this, and how can I instill confidence about my financial well-being?

Please do share suggestions, it will be really helpful :sweat_smile:

Firstly welcome to the community @RohanTrader

Quite a different kind of post on our community :sweat_smile:

Married folks please do share your opinions, it will be helpful for him

@t7support @KirubakaranRajendran @PiyushChaudhry @viswaram @iamshrimohan or our married trading community members :smile:


When I started trading my father who was a govt servant asked me “are you not getting salary from your engineering job” :sweat_smile: So in a country which is very populous but not very financially literate it is quite possible that one will face family and social pressures if someone comes to know that trading is your full time profession. I don’t think there is a short cut here to make someone in family believe that trading can be a full time career. May be with time and consistent profitable record one may be able to convince the near and the dear.

On a positive note my wife who I was dating then was absolutely nonchalant when I told her about my trading activity (This was right at the start when I didn’t even have anything from trading to show for). So may be waiting for and saying yes to someone who doesn’t really care about or who is excited about your trading activity would be the right thing to do. It helps if there is a safety net around - like me and wife both had a full time engineering job and so there was this quite confidence that a fallback option was there.


if you have been a profitable Trader, I’m presuming your Strategy works. At least sometimes. No Strategy works all the time anyways. May be, you need tighter risk management or a grip on your position sizing. Trade in a family member’s name, may be your father or mother. You’ll feel accountable.


“Are you not getting salary from your engineering job?” this is actually funny :sweat_smile:

It helps if there is a safety net around - like me and wife both had a full time engineering job and so there was this quite confidence that a fallback option was there.

Taking a practical approach like this can offer not just financial assurance but also peace of mind which inturn can be make you a better trader.

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My situation was somewhat unique - with my father being a stock broker since 1980, trading has always been a part of my family’s mainstream income. As a trader, I was found considerable success both in institutional capacities and on a personal level. However, after marrying someone who works in an AMC, I had to completely abandon trading due to regulatory requirements.


My worried father limited himself to that phrase. So I am still with the market… :grinning:

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Finding a suitable bride is a mammoth task in India that too finding a bride for a full time trader is like searching for a water resource in Mars planet. :smile:

But this issue is similar to what our parents faced 25 or 30 years ago. During their time most bride family would ask the potential groom family, “Is he having a sarkar naukri?” Because they tend to feel that Sarkar Naukri is the most safest job in the world. Girl’s family do not want to marry her to a business person, because they know doing business in India is not an easy task. They don’t want their girl to suffer because of a fluctuating income with too many risk involved. Slowly people started to notice business people are doing much better than salaried folks. The pay off is so huge if a person is persistent enough in his business.

That’s the exact case now for traders. Other than the fluctuating income from trading, the work life balance for a trader is totally different. I personally know many successful full time traders, they are really passionate about trading, they love doing all the analysis, trading 9 to 3 is something they adore. They feel bad when markets are closed on Saturday and Sunday. But when a trader is occupied so much with their profession they completely forget to spend enough time with their family.

If you think from Girl’s family side, you will understand that their worst nightmare is this. A passionate successful trader is fine, but what if he doesn’t having a life outside trading?

What you really need to do is not to convince your parents, instead you need to find a girl who could understand you well. Who is ready to support you and stand by you during all times, because its not your parents or girl’s parents who is going to spend the rest of the life with you, its the girl whom you are going to marry.

So even if you make the Girl’s family agree but if the girl is not really supportive then the whole marriage goes for a toss. Finding that supportive person is super important.

Who knows may be some your close friend, or any family friend who has been watching you over the years would know about you very well, so a girl from this zone could also be a potential match.

Behind every successful trader there will definitely be a supportive spouse. Only when a person has successful personal life, he can lead a successful professional life. In order to instil confidence with your parents and potential bride side family, you can try the following.

  1. Create a passive income structure that can take care of your family’s monthly expense, so that you are not totally dependent on your trading income.

  2. Have some investment in real estate, no matter where the Indian economy stands, still people consider you as successful only when you own a house.

  3. Keep an emergency fund in liquid which should be 6 times of your monthly expense.

If you are able to get these three done, then congratulations You are now shortlisted to become a potential groom who will be considered by the girl’s family.

When I got married I was having a stable job, working IT with very good salary. But when I decided to quit my job to become a full time trader, the first thing my wife asked was “Will you be able to handle the stress full time?” because she closely watched how life of a trader looks like. Still she said, go ahead and give a try. I will be there to support the family if needed. The initial years as a full time trader with a 2 year old child was really hard to manage. Over the years, moved to algo trading which made the entire process easier and trading has become much smoother since then.

That’s why I said, having a supportive spouse is super important for a full time trader.

Trading gives you the ability to do what you want, when you want, with who you want, for as long as you want. No other profession can give you this freedom. Over the years, when people understand this, then Traders will be most sought after candidates by the Gilr’s family.


I am at the same situation :man_shrugging:


Wow this is really insightful.

Thanks for all your suggestions, I will be keeping your suggestions in mind.

Finding a partner has been difficult because of the misconception a trader has, but will never give up.

Looking forward to contributing more to the community.

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I understand what you’re going through, we are trader’s we know to navigate challenges the best way! :sunglasses: